24 Karat Goat

I grew up in the 1980's.  It was a fashionably tenuous decade, filled with puff bangs, scrunchies, banana barrettes, and Ogilvie home perms.  And those were just a few interesting things one could choose to do with their hair.  Clothing was equally outrageous, with accessories like bangle bracelets and hoop earrings proving that bigger was much better.

In junior high, I remember being teased by my literature teacher for the puffy hairspray stiff hair and my personal attempt at setting new fashion standards by wearing mismatched earrings.  Oh, how I loved earrings.  They were big, flashy, statement making peace symbols, flamingos and autumn leaves.  They were also cheap and imported, full of nickle and other heavy metals that bind to your own proteins making the metal-protein complex very immunogenic or likely to cause hypersensitivity reactions.

I haven't been able to wear earrings, for the itching, burning, swelling they cause, as long as I can recall.  During my pregnancies, I slipped in a pair of gold hoops comfortably since my body's immune system was naturally suppressed, ever so slightly.  And then just recently, I realized that I could wear pure 24 karat gold hoops again.  These were a gift from my late father, who brought them home from Korea decades ago.  Because they were such excellent quality, they caused none of the problems that I was so accustomed to.  I never took them out and adjusted to sleeping in them since the gold was so soft, I feared bending the posts too frequently.

And then one day, my favorite goat, Titanium, reached up for a kiss, which I indulged because she is such a wonderful friend.  She nibbled a 24 karat gold hoop right out of my ear and either swallowed it or (more likely) spit it into the straw bedding.  I searched the floor on my hands and knees for many days/weeks afterwards and watched her droppings like a hawk for at least as long.

Fortunately, my sweet goat is alright.  She hasn't suffered any gastrointestinal distress.  I am holding out hope that someday I will find my lost earring, while digging in our well-fed garden.